I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i will never coherently bang her
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
