Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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