and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
