Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
