I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
