You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I want is dick and wine.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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