I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
