Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
