I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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