I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
