it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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