i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
