im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
