she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
