I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
