Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
