handjob tips. give me some.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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