i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
