Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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