I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
