He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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