they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
