Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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