He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
