FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everyone says I win the strip club
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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