Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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