Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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