she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
