Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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