She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
