You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
