Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He better not be in your backpack
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
