I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The ass gains better be worth it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
