When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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