Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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