The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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