I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
