Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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