Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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