I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so let's talk penis.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
