Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
