You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
