He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
