You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
