she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am naked and annoyed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
