Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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