You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
