i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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