He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
