The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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