guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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